top: sample sale . jeans: sample sale . shoes: Cathy Jean . purse: Louis Vuitton Speedy . watch: Michael Kors
I'm envious. I want what the bigger bloggers have. I want to be on a focus group panel of a big retailer and be given the glamor treatment. I want a Coach purse named after me. I want my opinion to count. I want random products to show up at my doorstep so that I can review them on my blog. These are the thoughts that I battle from time to time and this weekend was one of those times. I've always wanted to be the best at everything. I give 100% and nothing less. I go hard or don't go at all. So, when I spent my designated blogging hour laid out on my bed blog surfing, I began to get discouraged. Doubt began to creep in...look at Maegan...she's beautiful...she's crafty...everyone loves her just look at her blog name...Karla's style is sooo fierce...her body is perfect...is she even human....Delmy's blog is "bananas"...her hair has a mind of its own and it's genius...then there's me.
Do I even belong here? Am I cut out for this? Who am I kidding, I don't even have the time to keep up with these young girls. I have a husband and kids, not to mention work and my church life...I need to let it go. This blogging stuff is fun, but it's not for me. I'm discouraged.
Just then a DM tweet came to my cell phone from a blog follower we'll call Jen:
Just wanted to send u a private note 2 let you know that ur blog & openness abt ur faith encourages me in my walk w/God. I need to be more open about MY faith in my writing and your openness is inspiring. Blessings!
Her message was just a few sentences long but it meant more than she'll ever know. Let me be clear, my husband is my number one fan. He tells me all the time how great of a job he thinks I'm doing, but a part of me says he's supposed to say those kind and loving things to me. He loves me and will always have a biased opinion. So, what does the unbiased, objective person think. As a believer, I know that God uses people and situations around us to draw us closer to Him. I immediately stopped and rolled over. I stared at the ceiling, closed my eyes and thanked God. I'm not the biggest fashion blogger and I may not ever be...I'm okay with that. I might never be asked for my opinion by anyone that so-called "matters"...I'm okay with that. I may not even ever grow beyond my current readership ...I'm okay with that. The fact that I've made a small difference in one person's life and inspired her re-energized walk with God, is MORE than okay with me. That is my purpose for being here. I'm here for His purpose, not mine. Thank you Jen for serving your purpose which was to remind me of mine!
Before I go, I wanted to share something that I'm really excited about. After my episode this weekend, I was thrilled to receive a personal invitation from the owner of a local clothing company to sit on a focus group panel comprised of local business owners and well respected names in the fashion industry. I was honored to receive the invitation and can't wait to glean from the experience of those I'll be sitting with. What a cool opportunity, wouldn't you say? The bigger question is...WHAT TO WEAR?
Last, but DEFINITELY not least, here's a picture of the hugest bouquet ever. The Hubs hand- delivered 30 roses to my job. This custom bouquet is freakishly HUGE. I had to leave it at work because it won't fit in the back seat of my car. I love it and I love you, Jonathan!!!!
Here's a little more about today's outfit!